Letting Letters Lay Fallow

Well dang.  This certainly sucks.  I haven’t been to update this blog of mine.  I believe this has much to do with my belief (true or not) that I had nothing to say.  I guess I know on some level that isn’t really true.  I’ve become a sort of different person even.  I feel leaps and bounds and miles and far and wide away from the earlier blogs of mine but I wonder…did I lose my voice?  Because, shooooot, that would be kind of terrible.  It took some doing, but I did kind of develop some sort of voice.  Whiny though it may be.

At any rate.  Some things do not change.  Weird things still happen to me.  Uncomfortable situations still do find me everywhere.

I was in a stinky bar in New York not so long ago and I had (just HAD) to visit the even stinkier bathroom in the dark and unsafe basement.  I tried to imagine what I’d do if I got mugged.  I went to open a stall but walked in on a drunk blond girl sort of hanging off the seat in some inebriated contortion.  I didn’t see her face because I was confused by what she was doing, but I apologized and shut the door (which, she should have locked anyhow) and she said over and over again “I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry…”  I do not know why she was apologizing to me.  I found my way to the other stall and hovered and held the door shut since the lock was broken.  Drunkie finished her wee and exited her stall only to come over to mine to try to pull the door open, managing to super-smash my fingers in the process.  “I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry…”  I think the worst part of that story was that it made me scream the word “O-U-C-H!!”  I felt dumb about that.  Passive aggressive drunks are awful jerks.

Aggressive people in general are jerks I guess.  Hey yeah–I got cyber-bullied earlier this summer (well, sorta).  I was away at a two-week letterpress intensive workshop in the Smokey Mountains of North Carolina (rocking my ass on the porch drinking beer and watching fireflies) and I got a strange email from some lame lying cyber-bully.  It read:

I just read your bio on friendster and I must say I am shocked!
I wonder if John, who happens to be a friend of mine, knows you consider his law office a “weak-ass law firm” and you are “really bored working in this horrible office”, quotes taken directly from your page.
I happen to be looking for a job and I am thinking of sending a copy of your friendster page to John in hopes that he may replace a seemingly ungrateful employee with someone who would really benefit him, his office, and his cause.
By the way, when will you generation X kids realize that you are not the only group capable of navigating the world wide web in search of dirt!
Hope you have a GREAT day.

This a-hole was clearly confused.  Rude, even.  Not to sound like a brat but who is even ON Friendster anymore?  That was a profile I hadn’t updated since…2004?  When my job DID kind of suck.  Oh yeah, I’m not really a Gen X “kid” either–I think I might be a Y-er, but that’s besides the point.  I had to write to my boss and clear the air and he told me he had no idea who this person could be.  So, some random person who has half a brain cell, a computer, and is need of a job.  I tried to Geek Tools the IP address to prove how truly capable I am of navigating the world wide web in search of dirt, but no freakin dice.  I actually wrote a super decent email back politely telling that person to piss up a rope.  And that ended the bullying.  Knock on wood.  I could go back to rocking in that rocking chair and killing country roaches.

North Carolina was very beautiful.  It’s actually very jungly which I was not expecting.  Lush.  Snakes.  Bunnies.  Bugs.  I felt good and clean even if I was always filthy and nothing was ever quite dry.  Back in San Francisco I had to adjust.  I realized how much I hate the neighborhood I work in.  Wading through jerky city folk and yelling derelicts and navigating ’round random people’s bodily fluids is no hobby of mine.  The earthy simplicity I experienced for two weeks totally ruined me in the right way.  I resensitized.  So, I found my “center” again and maybe the writing will pick up and maybe all the weirdo stories I sling might at least amuse.  We’ll see.

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